4/29/12

Perfumery Is Design



If you spend a considerable amount of time reading through perfume threads on basenotes, fragrantica, badger & blade, and any other popular fragrance site, an odd trend becomes apparent. Half of the posters pose questions or thoughts about a fragrance's usability. There are questions like, "which vetiver is better for summer time?" and "do you think college-age girls will like an old-school oriental on me?" These questions pivot off performance ratings and sexual cache. They aren't queries about the relevance of a perfumer's self-expression, or the emotional conflicts generated by a certain combination of notes. When someone is wondering about seasonal and sexual viability, their concerns are about one thing: functionality.

The other half of the posting populace is more introspective. They're commenting about whether or not they like a fragrance, comparing fragrances to each other, and describing how fragrances smell to them. Their remarks are usually subjective, highly opinionated, and tethered to a finite scope of personal experience. These posts are about a different thing: interpretation. Often posters combine questions of functionality with interpretative commentary, and generate interesting discussions that suck all sorts of fragrances into the dialogue. A few words on one fragrance inevitably leads to many words on dozens of them.


If the dialogue were limited to interpretive conversation, then I would be inclined to think that perfumery is an art form. After all, the greatest works of prior generations of artists are engines for interpretation of the human condition. One glance at Guernica by Picasso can bloom into an emotional analysis of the horrors of war, which in turn can generate reflections on man's nihilistic hostility toward himself, and the shaping of the modern political spectrum of the West. One does not see Guernica and think, "perhaps it would look best in the foyer during spring time." Superficiality isn't invited to this cocktail party.

Conversely, if one were to pick a perfume, any perfume, and subject it to the rigors of intellectual conversation, this dialogue would extend into numerous human affairs, but would not end with them. An exchange on the Big Bang of modern perfumery as it evolved around Coty's Chypre would inevitably lead to considerations as to where and when Coty's Chypre is best worn, and on whom. Chypre's functionality is an inescapable part of its novelty.


Functionality is inherent to design, but not to art. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines design as the transitive verb, "to devise for a specific function or end," and the intransitive, "to conceive or execute a plan." In almost all its definitions, the word "plan" is used. There is an intent, based on a schematic, leading to something operational in nature. We can see this in anything that is designed, from cabinets and refrigerators, to cars and buildings, and even birth control products. Practicality and functionality are welded together in the best designs, and we reap the benefits of them constantly.

Art, on the other hand, is about philosophy, which is one reason why art history and philosophy are often combined in elective college courses. The artist has a view of himself and the universe in which he lives, and attempts to create his own meaning to fill the empty void of existence, and distract from the randomness of it all. Everything, from mechanical portraiture, to emotional free-associative abstractedness, is connected to a musing on man and his humanity. It takes art to convey the inner workings of the human spirit, and for this there are no limits to medium, or to the acceptability of line and image. An artist can present a series of finely-detailed paintings, or just plunk a Popsicle freezer in the middle of the room; as long as his philosophy exerts itself behind the expression, the offering is art.


Perfumery is harder to pin down as design than other designed things, like refrigerators and dishwashers, because unlike refrigerators and dishwashers, it's impossible to see the working pieces of a perfume. It's also hard to accept that perfume does not stray into the emotional grey area inhabited by most works of art. But emotional content is not exclusive to art - there are many facets of design that incorporate emotional and spiritual elements. European war posters of the 20th century are analogs of stubborn commitment to living each day to its fullest, expressed in hard lines and courageous imagery, and are loaded with archetypical renditions of men and women fighting to stay alive and sane. Still, these posters are graphic design, as they serve a purpose: to rally people against a common enemy. There is a subliminal and an overt purpose, with the aesthetics of illustration backed by a subversive manipulation of political allegiance for populist ends. Just look at the futuristic expressionism of Der Krieg by Otto Dix, or the Heroic Realism of Victor Borisovich Koretski's Peace, Friendship, Solidarity, No To Facism, and you see how closely wedded emotion and function can be.

Perfumery is its own form of subliminal and overt purpose. And yes, all of perfumery's working parts are invisible to the naked eye. The success of a perfume, like the success of a refrigerator, is not dependent on one creator alone. Unlike a piece of performance art by Raphael Montañez Ortiz, a refrigerator relies on the competence of the person who makes its parts, the person who develops a specific way of assembling them, and the person who does the assembling. A perfume is the same - it relies on a chemist to identify and create aroma chemicals on a molecular level, another chemist to identify how these aroma chemicals work together, and yet another chemist to interpret that data and assemble the chemicals into a volatile construction of multiple aromas which move together. This last phase, of chemical volatility on display, is trial and error, much like testing a new refrigerator model before it enters the market. There are times when parts malfunction, and need upgrading; there are moments when certain chemical combinations are lackluster and require changing. Eventually a perfect balance is achieved, and all parts are working well. Only then is a product ready for showcasing.


In perfumery, the very methods of obtaining building blocks for perfumery are challenging, and require considerable skill. Distillation, extraction by expression, extraction with volatile solvents, and supercritical CO2 extraction are all options. In each case, raw materials are mined for properties which yield the highest concentration of fragrance molecules. Once these materials are secured, the hard part really begins. In his 2011 book, Perfume: The Alchemy of Scent, Jean-Claude Ellena relays the conundrum of every beginner perfumer, with a particularly valuable frankness found in Chapter 5, page 43:
"As a lab assistant to perfume designers, I was exposed to different - often complex - ways of formulating fragrances (this stage is no longer part of the perfumer's training). As an apprentice, I learned things that would help me to fulfill the demands of international markets, aided in particular by the use of the then recent technology of chromatography. I was fed on a steady diet of market analyses and odor analyses: essential oils, bases, and perfumes. In my formulations, I combined materials and believed, naively, in the molecule that would change everything and would finally prove my creative talent."
There is little about this that correlates with the beginnings of an artist. Most artists serve no apprenticeships, rarely concern themselves with the finer points of market demands, and often seek to retro-engineer older technologies for new means - not make use of nascent technologies for future hypotheses. Ellena goes on to say:
"The turning point came when I read a little illustrated booklet with a bouquet of flowers on a black background on the cover. The firm Dragoco had dedicated the whole of their journal Dragoco Report to the perfumer Edmond Roudnitska. The subject was: The young perfume composer and odors. Though dated 1962, the approach was new. He spoke of beauty, taste, simplicity, method, in smelling and judging, but also of erudition and of his philosophy of life. He became a part of my life, to the point that I have long held a secret desire to be called, like the subject of the book, a 'composer of perfumes,' although on his business card he contented himself with the title of 'perfumer.'"
Although Ellena does refer to Roudnitska as having a philosophy of life, the two men do not fashion themselves after artists, but as composers and perfumers alike. Similarly, other designers adopt corollary titles of engineer, technician, and producer. Their tasks are based on the calibration of disparate qualities into new and original consonances, for commercial ends. Cars, for example, employ vastly different materials to transport people in a stable manner. Perfumes employ conflicting agents in a way that harmoniously balances skin chemistry with inorganic chemistry to produce scents that transcend nature. In short, perfumes serve the function of making people smell good, or at least different from how they would naturally smell. Without composition, this is not well achieved.
There is a difference between making someone smell of something, and making him smell like something. Certain naked aroma chemicals, like Ambrox, can successfully make a person smell of woody ambers, without the assistance of other materials. Even with one ingredient, a perfumer's ability to identify this particular aroma chemical as having an inherent complexity makes it feasible to bottle and sell Ambrox as perfume. But the same cannot be done with something like cis-3 Hexenal. Alone, this aroma chemical smells harsh and incomplete. If one were to bottle cis-3 Hexenal and sell it as perfume, its wearer would just smell like cis-3 Hexenal. Without the accompaniment of hydroxyisohexyl 3 cyclohexene carboxaldehyde, the floral elements to support the basic grassiness of cis-3 are missing. It takes a bit of compositional expertise to achieve the desired green, grassy effect.

It is the implicit goal of all perfumers to make people smell of something, namely perfume, and all the elements contained in perfume. They are not in the business of making people smell like something else. Perhaps it is tempting to point to Demeter, the fragrance company which sells products that smell like specific things, and say "what about them?" If I spray Demeter's Lavender, I will smell similar to lavender, but not actually like lavender - and it's still perfumery, because there isn't just lavender oil in the bottle. There are several aroma chemicals cleverly composed to mimic the natural scent of lavender buds. But if I apply some Caldey Island Lavender, and just identify the lone lavender essential oil, then I'm no longer using perfume, but simply a lavender ointment. I cannot say one way or another whether or not Caldey Island Lavender uses lavender alone for its fragrance, and will not try to peg the scent as being "not perfume" here, but one can legitimately question it. Ellena and Roudnitska wrote about the importance of composition in making perfume, for composition is everything in perfume. And composition is an act of design. How well do things function in this order? How well do they function in that order? And so on.

In closing, I turn to a fragrance mentioned in the first part of this "Conundrum: Is Perfumery A _______?" series - Kouros. Pierre Bourdon's classic masculine perfume is a triumph of form and function. It employs natural and synthetic ingredients, composed in a manner to best highlight their effects on skin. It is a marvel of technical contrast, with bright hesperidic notes placed alongside dark-earthy and animalic ones. Smelling Kouros provokes a feeling of happiness, much like the feeling I get when I see a 1958 Chevy. Its natural ingredients stimulate a primitive epicenter in my brain. Its synthetics appeal to my fashion sensibilities. It works beautifully in the heat, and in all temperatures. It's sexy as hell. It is the very essence of modern design.
















4/27/12

The Social Politics Of Perfume, Part II: Montale and Tanelli (With More Than a Dash Of Creed)



Last month I went into an "organized rant" about the hypocrisy of Farina, and the Farina fanboy mischaracterization of Mülhens as being a cheap and dirty plagiarist. Historically speaking, it seems that the insular universe of perfumery has always been a somewhat hostile place, and the tentacles of commerce and capitalism are sometimes brutally severed at their stems, especially if we're living in western Europe during the 19th century. While I acknowledge that Farina is a fine product and worthy of many accolades, I strongly feel that Mülhens doesn't deserve a bad rap, and the coddling of Farina by fragrance aficionados is unbecoming. There should be a healthier dose of skepticism regarding the purportedly extensive self-documentation of Farina, simply because the company self reports everything, and treasures the records that put it in the best light. One can wonder if these records are truly complete, or if there are some political incidents that have been conveniently edited out of the narrative to better suit their needs. Meanwhile, regardless of the paperwork, Mülhens' product continues to dominate the market and eclipse Farina in both sales and brand recognition. It ain't Farina tattooed on Dr. Frank-N-Furter's thigh in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I opened this four-part series with the Farina/Mülhens issue because I've become weary of all the arbitrary brand favoritism on basenotes and the fragrance blogosphere. There's usually no balance in play, no perspective, no logical rationale - it's all a lot of baseless snootiness and crazed niche worship. Unless the niche brand is Creed, in which case the fragrances aren't worth reviewing, are no good even before they're released, and should be damned with the faint praise of "it doesn't work with my skin chemistry, but I guess it's fine on other people." How many blogs out there can you find that bother to review more than three or four Creeds, and give them fair shakes? Not too many. Is there any reason for that? I can't figure a single one. Perhaps I should email the question to Luca Turin.

My query is made facetiously of course. I know what's going on, and I don't like it, because it reveals more hypocrisy in the fragrance community. The easiest way to expose the issue is to draw a comparison between Creed and Montale, which is another famous niche brand. Things get, as Larry David might say, prit-teeeeey, prit-teeeeey, prit-teeeeey interesting with Montale. And for better or worse, I'm channeling Larry in this post. So buckle your safety belts kids, it's gonna be a wild and super-awkward ride. You could get caught whistling Wagner by an angry Jew after reading these words. Groin rashes and front-yard chamber orchestras may ensue.


Let's face facts here, and let's do it honestly. For many years, Montale was the shit. You couldn't go to the bathroom in South America without bumping into a Montale fan. Black Aoud was incredibly popular, as were Greyland, Red Vetiver, Attar, and Aoud Cuir d'Arabie. Although accused of foisting too many fragrances onto the public, and over-concentrating perfume oils in certain brews, Pierre Montale could do no wrong by fumeheads. The widely-accepted story was that Mr. Montale founded his brand in Paris in 2003 after years in the Middle East as Master Perfumer to Royalty . . . and the story went largely unchallenged. Oh, there was the occasional snarky remark about the smell of baloney mingling with all the agarwood fumes, but considering the formulaic nature of the story, Montale got a hall pass. Creed, which is hundreds of years older than Montale and actually has a history that is verified by royal warrants (we'll save the whole "they were commissioned as tailors, not perfumers" argument for Part III), enjoyed no such respect, and continues to draw insane levels of criticism from many quarters. But Montale, well . . . Montale's bullshit wasn't really bullshit, at least if you consider how no swindler could possibly be a prolific purveyor of anything aoud.

Then one day a basenoter dropped this little nugget of information on the 'ol attar altar. And suddenly Montale wasn't the shit anymore. The whole aoud trend came to a screeching halt. The number of Montale threads dropped from an average of seven or eight a day, to around one or two - on a good day. Currently, very few blogs are reviewing Montales. Today's male fragrance forum on basenotes doesn't have a single Montale thread. Everyone is back to talking too much about Thierry Mugler and Tom Ford. So the question becomes, what the fuck happened?

The truth is what happened - the verifiable truth. As it turns out, Pierre Montale isn't the nose behind any of the Montale fragrances. A man named Ammar Atmeh created the scents from his lab, somewhere in the Middle East, and developed the brand as a silent partner who just so happened to be doing all the work. Pierre Montale was the enlisted ambassador of Aoud to the West, merely an image-maker who fronted the popular Asian scent profile of thick spices and syrupy agar oils for French sensibilities (and given that he was all but invisible to the press during Montale's heyday, he did it effortlessly). Slap "Made in France" on your bottle, and you're accessible to European and American fragrance snobs. Slap "Made in Saudi Arabia" on there, and you're a counterfeiter, even if the name is obscure to begin with. There's no point in basing your visible headquarters in the Gulf when Paris has prettier storefronts and better global visibility. The ruse makes perfect sense.

Its cover was blown when Tanelli started to appear on the basenotes radar. Housed in Montale bottles, with Montale names, on Montale-style display shelves, these Tanelli fragrances were hard to account for. The company line was that Montale decided to ditch their name because there were too many counterfeiters, and decided on re-branding as Tanelli. Which makes zero sense, because Montales are rarely (if ever) counterfeited, mainly because they're only popular with a tiny fragment of the global population - a painfully tiny subset of niche fanatics. There's a little irony to be had, though - Creeds are counterfeited and sold by reputable merchants, yet real Creed fragrances bear public scorn for being oversold, the "Gilette of Niche," which implies that their fragrances have more universal appeal, an undesirable trait in niche perfume circles, as it obviously subverts the whole point of being niche in the first place. After all, we wouldn't want to be caught smelling irresistible to the broadest demographic range possible, now would we. Note that there's no question mark at the end of that sentence.

The truth is that Ammar and Pierre got into a little argument over god knows what, and disbanded. Pierre is after Ammar because he thinks he has rights to Montale for using his name. Ammar is after Pierre because he's the guy behind the fragrances. While the whole mess gets hashed out in court, the company has been neutrally re-branded as Tanelli, which sounds like an Italian tire manufacturer, not a fragrance firm. Bottom Line: the public has been lied to for ten years by two guys who wanted to maximize profit by falsifying their brand's back story, their brand's home country, and the identity of their brand's in-house perfumer. These are all basic premises that fuel the trolling of many a "Creed skeptic," with false back story and charlatan in-house perfumer being top contentions of those seeking to discredit Olivier's private enterprise. Basenoters bend over backwards to dismiss Creed as being a house of cards, so when a proven house of cards like Montale's shows up on deck, everyone's immediate reaction is one of shock and disgust, right? I mean, the feelings of betrayal, of being robbed and fleeced, all would begin to flow freely, right?

Some immediate reactions had by basenoters to the news that Montale is fake:
"All I can say is . . . interesting! I hope to learn more about this."
"The politics of business. It wouldn't be a first, but this is very interesting nevertheless!"
"Thanks for this interesting piece of information."
"Hmmm . . . wonder how this will effect the secondary market for all the Montales we know and love."
"So basically it's a Western Creed?"
"Maybe the business is funded by Saudi royalty and they slightly twisted the truth to make it sound like the King's perfumer now makes for the common."
"There's a movie in this! What a GREAT story!"
I couldn't make this shit up if I wanted to. And no, that comment about the business being funded by Saudi Royalty wasn't made sarcastically, the guy was being totally earnest. And there's a movie in this? What a great story? Again, totally sincere.

One can fumigate, and supposate, and guesstimate about exactly why the general response to this information was so muted, given the intense popularity Montale had experienced for several years prior to this revelation, but the following three comments, followed by several other supportive comments, pretty much cleared the mystery right up:
"Great post! Montale was a real trend-setter for Middle East-inspired scents."
"Interesting information. So we'll see how it fans out, if the names on the black cans will switch to Tanelli and where. I bet some sort of agreement will be found in the end. In any case, whoever made the line must be commended for bringing many good, stark perfumes in the general Arabian style to Western consumers. Of course they're not the real stuff, but then they don't cost $1500 a tola."
"Whatever may happen next, whatever faults were made in the past (poor publicity work, lousy web service, marketing) Parfums Montale have been unique in making oudh perfumes popular in the Occident in just a few years! I would still have to hear our European partner of the entity on this, but if by nothing more than lending his name, Pierre Montale has written French perfume history already."
And there it is, the real reason why there was no outrage over the exposure of Montale's little fraud: they're responsible for introducing beautiful Middle-Eastern aoud fragrances to the West. They helped us exit a bilateral perfume world, and opened the door to a trilateral US-EU-UAE commercial landscape, where agarwood and spicy, rose-infused orientals overlap with European chypres and American barbershop fougères. Sure, they lied and shit all over people's trust, but lookey here! Aoud smells good on Parisian girls!

So if we're to believe that Montale introduced the western fragrance world to aoud, and aoud is an incredible discovery that westerners can't get enough of, then aoud must be everywhere now, right? Every designer is blowing doors down with brazenly original oriental creations full of lush oriental darkness. Except . . . they're not. In the years that followed Black Aoud's major release, very few mainstream aoud releases followed suit. Eventually major design houses began cashing in on a growing niche trend, but they did so in an incredibly non-committal fashion, relegating aoud-themed scents to Flanker World. Dior quietly released Fahrenheit Absolute, to minimal fanfare and acclaim. In their semi-niche "La Collection Couturier" they entered Leather Oud, to even less critical acclaim. Guerlain's Habit Rouge EDP contains an aoud note, conspicuously added but not often mentioned, or even noticed. Caron - which isn't even designer, but somehow gets lumped in there by bloggers - released Secret Oud. And YSL daringly released M7. But wait - they released it one year before Montale was founded!


Guess the supposed introduction of aoud wasn't the major diplomatic relations affair Montale supporters like to think it is. The truth is that agarwood in perfumery yields a dense, bitter, and difficult scent, one that isn't usable in mainstream fare, for the simple reason that it lacks mainstream appeal, especially in the West. Aoud isn't a household name in America thanks to Montale, and in fact it isn't even a household name at all. If you picked any teenager or twenty-something off the street and asked them to name their favorite aoud fragrance, their eyes would glaze over. Fragrance fanatics of all ages know about aoud, but there's not a whole lot of fragrance fanatics out there. This is a relatively small circle we inhabit.

So the notion that Montale was this great bridge-builder for aoud to the West is a lot of phooey. And it doesn't answer the question as to why there was such a muted response to the revelation that Montale was faking everyone out for so long. Reading through the thread that broke the story, new and inventive excuses for Montale begin to appear:
"I find myself in a sort of state of relief. There is so much to just get my head around about the perfume market, and none of it, Western as well as Eastern, strikes me as particularly noble. So I have really re-adjusted some attitudes, in terms of what I view as more or less ethical, as business models go, since I realize how in-the-dark I have been about the encroachment of dodgy interests worldwide, in my own part of the world, too... as well as unaware of Asian marketers, merchants, and retail hustles. And it gives me something like 'peace of mind', oddly."
Followed by:
"Who can know whether say Jean Claude Ellena or Olivia Giacobetti actually worked on a said perfume from scratch to finish? What if they supervised or guided a less than famous nose on it and management decided it was better to state that it was created by JCE or Ms.Giacobetti? Who can know for certain? We will always assume the best, as I am sure we all do, but imperatively use our noses to judge whether said perfume is up to standards of given perfumer."
And who can know whether Pierre Bourdon actually worked on a said perfume from scratch to finish? What if he supervised or guided a less than famous nose, like Olivier Creed, and management decided it was better to state that it was created by him? Who can know for sure?


The double standard is revealed. It's okay for Montale to lie and cheat and fabricate, but the merest suggestion that Creed created perfumes for royalty in the 18th century is grounds for impeachment. Montale fragrances - which, contrary to some basenotes claims, are very expensive, in the same price range as Creed - are not minor toilet waters of no consequence. These scents have had an impact on a certain core of niche fans, and have therefore provided pleasure to many people. It isn't fair to indict the perfumes because their purveyors are dishonest thugs. In fact, it isn't even fair to say that Montale is less than any of the other fragrance conglomerates out there. The company's output is legitimate, even if its authors are dishonest. So to cast the Montale lineup into the fires of fragrance Pariah-dom isn't the right thing to do. It's more in keeping with creative tradition to view this revelation as another cog in the wheel of modern marketing - the dishonesty cog. Companies lie. Businessmen finagle truth from the grossest distortions in the name of money. Nothing is right when you're up against the injustices of a vicious playing field full of price-hiking and swill-peddling wrongs. You can create a front, as long as you can get away with it.

But Montale didn't get away with it. Montale isn't mentioned much anymore, mainly because the voices that once touted its successes touted them a little too well, and a little too much, and it's embarrassing to have the rug pulled out from under everyone. The supposed genius behind Montale's aoud angle in perfumery was over-hyped, overstated, and eventually, through a whimper and not a bang, overturned. The politics behind people's attitude toward Montale were borne of the desire to become more worldly, sophisticated, and in-the-know, and once you start striving for that level of personal hubris, you don't dare admit defeat, not even in the face of a game-changing mistake.


As for Tanelli, well, there's not much to say. Bloggers' silence on Tanelli fragrances proves that the fragrances, in large part, don't actually speak beyond the discredited names of their creators, as you don't find anyone reviewing Tanelli fragrances, even though they smell the same, are made of the same quality ingredients, and boast the same Middle-Eastern style everyone claimed to love so much in Montale. The word "Tanelli" isn't even mentioned on basenotes at all. It appears people don't mean what they say when they spew things like, "I don't care about brand names, I just care about what's in the bottle, and whether it smells good," or similar bile in that vein. Brand names are the impetus for gabbing aimlessly about niche fragrances on the internet. Name dropping is everything.

I'd like to close this segment of the series by pointing out the words of another basenoter, and quickly remarking on how silly they are:
"I guess that this is a sober lesson on never believing any of the marketing BS perfume houses invest so much energy in - except if you happen to enjoy the illusion - and simply to focus on the scent in front of you. Whether it's a fake M. Montale, a reengineered Count d'Orsay, Creed's phoney perfume history, or even Guerlain's real pre-LVMH history - it says nothing about the nature or quality of the product you are paying big $ for now."
Well, okay. True, marketing fiction says nothing about the quality of a product. Just one problem, though: it's been proven that Count d'Orsay, pre-LVMH Guerlain, and Montale have lied about their history. However, it has not yet been definitively proven that Creed shares their guilt.


NOTE: The thread link to basenotes in the article above was deliberately broken by basenotes, preventing my readers from seeing the full context of all the quotes made in this article. This is typical of basenotes - contrary to its friendly, communal facade, led by a questionable character by the name of Grant, this site operates on several fundamentally dishonest levels. Its loss of popularity to Fragrantica is fitting.




















4/26/12

The Old And New: Old Spice Fresh & Pure Sport



Sometime in the last few years Old Spice reformulated and re-released its famous "fresh" variant as Old Spice Fresh. Fragrantica puts the start date at 1988, but in fact basenotes has it right - Old Spice Fresh was originally released in 1980 as Old Spice Fresh Scent, and was a minor player in the Shulton lineup until its eventual discontinuation sometime in the 1990s. I don't know what prompted Proctor & Gamble to give Fresh another go, but apparently someone was nostalgic.

Fresh always struck me as being a product of Calone's "first wave," one of a handful of discreetly-clean and sea breezy masculines that were mass produced from the 1970s to the late '80s. Stuff like Wind Drift, Blue Stratos, New West. These weren't overtly aquatic, nor were they fruity bubblegum scents, but they all employed a clean Calone molecule that was subtly woven into their compositions for ozonic effect. The basic Calone smell is very marine-like in nature, and mimics the saltiness of a sea breeze. In Fresh, this clean sea spray element is central to the composition. It isn't sweet. It's bitter, mineralic, ozonic, salty, and a little green. It's Calone the way we're supposed to smell it, somehow relegated to the cheapest stuff in the men's aisle.


Even today, Fresh smells very old school and a little clunky. But here's a major point in its favor: it's an excellent ambergris scent, for anyone curious to know what amber smells like. Fresh opens with an incredibly bitter melange of salted lemon, bergamot, and frosted galbanum, and bitchslaps my sinuses for a good fifteen minutes before softer notes of dry cedar and amber emerge, perfectly haloed in Calone - or whatever they're using to imitate Calone nowadays. It smells like a cold Atlantic wave breaking against grey shale somewhere along the coast of Maine. It's harsh, very masculine, and more of a novelty act than a practical daily-wearer, but I'm glad to find 4 ounce bottles of it at my local grocery store.

I also find Old Spice's newest brand of "Fresh" next to them in massive 6.5 ounce bottles, labeled Pure Sport, from 2004. This fragrance is a more modern OS variant, and has seen immense success in bodywash and deodorant form. I like that they make it in aftershave form as well. Pure Sport is not your average formulaic sport scent. In fact, it's not a sport scent at all. A basenoter called Cipriano accurately states that Pure Sport smells of 60% Old Spice and 40% Allure Homme. Actually, I'd reverse the poles on that, as I get a stronger Allure vibe. But Pure Sport isn't really a fresh fougère - it's a fresh oriental, and to be honest, the aftershave version smells a lot different from the bodywash and deodorant. The bath products smell "sportier" and brighter, while the tonic is warm and smooth, with distinct notes of sandalwood and opopanax under light touches of grapefruit, clove, and anise. The fruity undertow is attributable to some variation of Calone, no doubt a cheap stand-in for the fruity Water of Joe Calone of the '90s. This is more wearable than Old Spice Fresh, but not nearly as interesting. Still, it's excellent value for the quality - Pure Sport smells like it should cost four times as much as it does.

If you're looking for respectable "fresh" scents, and don't have much dough to blow, P&G offers two excellent options for a combined total of $15. You won't smell like a big spender, but you'll definitely smell good, and a whole lot better than that fat asshole on the S-train who douses himself in L'Eau D'Issey.







Painting: Crashing Waves by Frederick Waugh



















4/25/12

Mimosa (Czech & Speake)



I like a dirty floral perfume as much as the next guy (assuming the next guy is sufficiently deranged enough to bear comparison with me), but some perfumes are a little too dirty. Mimosa by Czech & Speake is one such perfume.

Czech & Speake is one of those niche brands that consistently wows me. Rose is amazing, albeit a bit simplistic. Dark Rose is even better. Cuba is a pleasure to wear. Citrus Paradisi is problematic, but I respect what they were going for there. But Mimosa is, literally and figuratively speaking, one hell of a stinker.

It's not difficult to review because it isn't very complex, and it doesn't move much. It opens with a sweet burst of ylang-ylang and jasmine. The ylang is perky and lends the floral arrangement a bright texture, while the jasmine is velvety and tempers the sharpness of the ylang with a softer kind of "sweet." The pair is nicely rendered and provide a clever intro to a mimosa soliflore.

When the star note arrives, it is loaded to the hilt with dirty indoles, creating a bitter pungency that makes my nose wrinkle and my sinuses close up. It smells like an overripe flower and a burnt match. On the one hand, I like indoles, and gravitate toward their funkiness like a fly to a neon beer sign. On the other, I'm not particularly fond of how these indoles work. Their intensity is repellent, and they make the fragrance smell like a granny perfume on steroids. Mimosa has been compared to fancy hand soap, but this is closer to soap from a tawdry French brothel.

Once it reaches this starched and pooped apex, it gradually fades into a whisper of its former self, and becomes more tolerable. I guess it holds up the C&S tradition of being balls-out and red-blooded, but it's simply a bad concept, executed a little too well. It's a shame they missed with this scent - they were so close.













4/24/12

Violetta (Penhaligon's)

I have an odd relationship with violets, perhaps because I'm a man who likes how they smell, and doesn't mind wearing them. To me, violets are about green shadows, wet earth, night-blooming romance. They're the stuff of mystery, and the men who build mysteries. When rendered honestly, they smell incredible.

When rendered dishonestly, all the inherent good and evil of violets is tragically undone. It's a fine line because there's very little difference between a good violet scent, and a bad one. The best and the worst smell sweet and green alike, with only subtle variations to distinguish them. A good violet scent - perhaps the greatest available to men - is Grey Flannel. I feel like my soul is connected to my skin whenever I wear Grey Flannel. Swirling remnants of anything that is fair and foul about me manifests in its well-oiled machine of imploded lemon, violet, violet leaf, oakmoss. Any remote fleck of selflessness and personal sacrifice is nicely suited to its sweetness; duplicity and murderous impulses are the shadow matter of crushed greens under its mossy thicket, providing shadow to Grey Flannel's light. There aren't many fragrances that operate this way. While most frags simply accompany me, Grey Flannel becomes part of me.

Not so with Violetta by Penhaligon's. Is it any irony that Violetta was released the same year as Grey Flannel? Perhaps, and the meaning isn't lost on this violet fan. Where Grey Flannel conveys a natural scent profile, Violetta settles on blatantly synthetic aromachemicals to convey an empty expression of "chic." Violets have a natural sexiness built into their fragile scent, and if a perfumer frames their earthbound allure with other natural notes, as Andre Fromentin did, the result is beguiling. If the nose decides "natural" isn't enough, and filters violets through gobs of naked Ambrox and Galaxolide, the result is headache inducing. Needless to say, Violetta is a migraine in a bottle.


Despite its crudeness, I can sense what the perfumer behind Violetta was going for: a crisp, green, dusty violet, with hints of wood and musk as supporting players. Looks good on paper, but in practice it's a disaster. The opening violet note is piercingly bright, sickeningly sweet, and possesses the demeanor of an expensive air freshener - not a fine fragrance. It rapidly becomes obvious that the synthetic violet bombast is playing bicinium to coarse musk. The musk note is almost odorless, yet somehow louder than the violet. It was meant to lend the sweet greenness some loess for relief, but instead just expounds on the already-bad. There are precious few wearable violets for men on the current market, and this one bites the dust. Literally.

I find it amusing that Grey Flannel, at only $12 for 4 ounces, eclipses a $125 perfume by such a wide margin. But as a guy with an eye on quality instead of price, I don't find it surprising in the least. Experienced male fumeheads know how easy it is to smell amazing for under $15 - you just have to know that what feeds the soul usually spares the wallet. With their fragrances consistently underwhelming me, I see no reason to jettison this credo for Penhaligon's, and certainly wouldn't waste another day on something as offensive as Violetta.











4/22/12

What I've Been Reading



I thought I'd mention that I've updated my blogroll, and added some preferred reading from across the world-wide interweb. Sadly, this meant editing out some "dead blogs" that are no longer being updated. But the new additions are terrific reads.

There's the insightful writing of Ron Slomowicz on Notable Scents.

Another humorous addition is Oh True Apothecary! which I'm hoping goes much longer than just 365 days.

Then there's Cheryl Quimby's literary blog, Perfumed Letters. A nice "confessional" blog with many perfumed letters to cover. By the way, I used to send a girlfriend perfumed letters. My confession of the day.

I think Scents of Place is a mesmerizing read. What a traveler! I envy this writer's mileage.

Can't get enough of Swig and Tipple, which is an extremely pleasant read.

And don't believe Jen Meade when she says This Blog Really Stinks, unless you're thinking perfume, which is what she's thinking.

I hope to add more blogs like these in the future!















4/21/12

Inis (Fragrances of Ireland)



I have fond memories of Ireland. If you conjoin all the months I spent there, you'll find I've given about two years to Ireland, and enjoyed every minute of it. My parents used to take me when I was a young boy, and in more recent years I've stopped in as a halfway point between continental Europe and the States. It's been five years since my last stop, and I do miss it quite a bit.

People often assume that I'm Irish (my history there, and my name), but there isn't a single drop of Irish blood in me. I'm Italian American, a quarter Polish on my mother's side, and my last name is Italian. As a privacy preference, I simply do not use my real surname online.

"But," you ask, "why spend so much time in Ireland then?" The answer is actually a lot simpler than you think - my family spent months at a time there because it was a good retreat from our fast-paced life in America. In 1993 they purchased land in Sligo, and in 1995 they hired an architect to design a house. The design was based on a crude drawing, done by my mother on a napkin at Bewley's. In 1996 the architect hired a local Spanish-Irish (called "Black Irish") builder and his small crew of six or seven guys, and the house was finished by the end of the year - without the use of any power tools. From 1996 to 2008 my family and I would visit and spend time, until all was sold in the autumn of 2008 to a local couple who wanted it for raising a family.


One of the things I remember was the introduction of Inis, sometime in the spring of 1998. Inis was a phenomenon in Ireland, possibly their best-selling fragrance of all time, even to date. You could find it in every gift shop, department store, grocery store, and airport. Touted as the "scent of Ireland" and backed with loads of oceanic imagery, it announced itself everywhere as being a fresh aquatic. My interest in fragrances was minimal back then, and I didn't give much thought to the banality of aquatics, or wonder why F.o.I. didn't opt for a "greener" fragrance, given the abundance of greenery there. Whenever I saw a tester, I spritzed some on my hand, and always thought the exact same thing: nice, but nothing special.

Revisiting it now, all these years later, Inis has held up rather well. I still feel it's quite nice, but nothing special in the least. By "nice" I'm saying Inis smells fresh, salty, a little beachy, and generally good. It's a skin scent and doesn't project beyond a couple of inches, which probably helps it. It opens with a piercing bergamot and lemon, which rapidly effloresce into a breezy, briny, and heavily-salted sandalwood and musk. I always interpret sandalwood as being driftwood in aquatic fragrances, and Inis is no exception - the wood notes are subdued, but very dry and warm, providing a muted contrast to the cool sea breeze washing over it. The heart is little more than a mild glow of sweet greenness, presumably the floral notes I see listed everywhere, which vary on every site. I get a touch of muguet, and the faintest hint of clove, which reality-checks all the freshness with its mentholated soot. The effect is similar to that of Hedione's in Eau Sauvage; Inis' clove is inherently spicy and degradable amidst all the fluorescence.


Fragrances of Ireland is a very competent niche firm, and they specialize in perfumes that approximate the olfactory assets of Ireland's geography. Driving through the countryside, one is exposed to an endless barrage of scents and accents - clean, salty air, bitter grasses and nettles, the gentle sweetness of Fuchsia, the occasional waft of fetid manure, and the singularly smoky earthiness of peat bogs, and burning peat. Many of these scents are captured in Patrick, an excellent fougère. But Patrick falls short of conveying the Irish coastline, so Inis picks up the slack. Salt and ozone, wet, woody sand, the remote greenness of nearby fields, all are well encapsulated in the basic effect garnered by a few sprays of Inis. It's a simple pleasure, well executed, but still . . . just aquatic. Atlantic-aquatic, very cold and brisk, but aquatic nevertheless. It had a modicum of originality in the '90s; today, Inis is just another pretty face.

It doesn't smell of detergent musks and watermelon gum, so these are points in its favor. It's also very unassuming and maintains a modest presence, even after generous application. This isn't L'Eau D'Issey and The Chemical Comanches playing your local dive bar. This fragrance is pleasant, demure, and very well behaved, a lonely solo player. I whole-heartedly recommend Inis to anyone with a hankering for a sugarless aquatic. It's a pretty little fragrance from a gorgeous country, and the loveliest people on Earth.



















4/19/12

Wind Song (Prince Matchabelli)



Luca Turin once said that classic feminine perfumes become masculines with age, and it's one of a precious few bits of Turin's wisdom I completely agree with (I'm a bit of a petulant asshole, you see). Those old chypres and orientals really don't match today's concept of "feminine." Wind Song is one of them, a fragrance that blares its woody and green notes from a mountaintop, and smells very adult, very sincere. It hearkens from 1952 or '53 - there are conflicting reports - and yet it makes me think that women in the 1750s smelled like Wind Song. Even though it's a twentieth century perfume, it is very classically poised, incredibly well composed, and ridiculously inexpensive. I wish I could build a time machine (or tinker with a DeLorean) and go back to check it out, just to see if this scent isn't on some French aristocrat's night table.

I've never knowingly smelled L'Air du Temps, but I do like Wind Song. Apparently the Nina Ricci perfume, which came only a few years before, was the inspiration for Prince Matchabelli's creation. Wind Song's massive bergamot/carnation/orange balm/coriander is an incredible intro, loaded with pungency, and unfortunately a little too much alcohol. Inexpensive drugstore frags sometimes smell nice in the opening and crappy in the drydown, but Wind Song suffers crudeness on top and becomes better as it dries. Its heart is full of spice, loads of clove and tarragon, and its base is rich with amber and benzoin resins. The far drydown is a nice clean sandalwood, very smooth and dry. There is something darkly alluring here, despite the associations with "old soap" that I get from the bergamot and carnation top notes. The richness of the sandalwood base wouldn't be out of place on a scheming, cold-blooded siren, like Hitchcock's Madeleine in Vertigo.

Would I wear Wind Song? I have to say, if I had one of those small $9 bottles, I would probably have occasion to wear it, here and there. I don't know if I could handle the density of the scent beyond an hour or two, but I'm not afraid to try it. One thing is for sure, though: I wouldn't worry about smelling like a lady. Le Male, 1 Million, and Acqua di Gio contain far more estrogen than Wind Song ever will.










4/18/12

I Feel Betrayed . . .



Today is a sad day. Yet another reason to despise basenotes (in the face of my doing everything humanly possible to NOT despise basenotes), and shuck the credibility of a once-respected online personality, has presented itself with the lamentable announcement in this thread.

It brings to mind a post by Mals on The Muse In Wooden Shoes, which by the way is a terrific blog. One source of her ire is based on Dane, the voice of Pere de Pierre, and his recent decision to unofficially quit blogging about perfume. She got pissed at his attitude toward the perfume world, toward perfume blogs, and the perceived message that perfumery and blogging about it is now beneath Dane, and no longer worth his time. I like Pere de Pierre because it's a well-written anecdotal blog, and for that reason it stays on my blogroll. But I empathized with Mals' feelings toward a post entitled "Perfume is Boring." It's like, perfume is boring . . . why again? Because you're unsatisfied with the latest crop of overpriced niche pretentiousness that for many seasons left you begging for more? Not enough unwearable Serge Lutens fragrances on the roster for ya?

This revelation on basenotes is worse, because the basenotes member in question not only jumped ship, but took his 1,000+ reviews with him, never to be seen again. He deleted every single word, and any words that he couldn't delete were brought to Grant's attention so he could delete them. This, quite honestly, undermines everything the man has ever written, detracts enormously from his credibility as a fragrance aficionado, and smacks of a dishonesty commonly found in the scrawlings of lesser members. It's much worse than just announcing that you're sick of reviewing fragrances and will no longer do it - it's saying that nothing you wrote was really worth reading in the first place. It's the equivalent of Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez writing The Guide on a school blackboard, and then erasing it because the class isn't paying attention anymore - or perhaps doesn't seem to be paying attention anymore. It's actually worse than that because this man's reviews could have easily comprised a much better book than Turin and Sanchez's popular tome. It's the leader putting himself after the followers, which reveals the leader was a follower all along.

And indeed, it does follow Dane's post, which is particularly troubling given that the basenotes member in question wrote for Pere de Pierre. And an eloquent writer he is - his reviews inspired me to write this blog! Whenever I referred to basenotes for an informed opinion on a fragrance of interest, I referred to his reviews specifically, and looked forward to reading and re-reading them again and again. I did not always agree with him (sometimes he seemed to mimic Luca Turin's snark a bit too concisely), but all told, he rarely failed to generate interest in a fragrance, a perfume house, or a fragrance type. He was that good. He was a regular Baudelaire.

At least I thought he was. His announcement, unfortunately, leaves me cold. I feel betrayed. I feel like the emperor had no clothes. It's as though all the wisdom, wit, insight, and prescience this author's online personality might have possessed was nothing more than a foil for his own ego, a conceit against which no response could measure up. And when the responses stopped measuring up - or just stopped, period - the ego was ruffled and the peacock closed his plumes. It's the ultimate bait and switch: ostensibly offering reviews in an effort to guide newcomers through an endless minefield of fragrance releases, only to permanently withdraw this help because you're "not fond of the glib, arrogant, and condescending person that emerges on basenotes, and feel the need to put that persona to rest." What utter rot.

It begs the question, did this man ever love fragrance at all? If he did, then his reviews, which seemed lovingly written, would have been prized by him as much as by his readers, and would have been allowed to stand firm long after his online persona's demise. That's the legacy of love: an enduring impression that never fades, that has taken an immortal form. This reviewer's words should have been allowed to remain on basenotes for as long as basenotes itself remains in existence; readers five, ten, fifteen, fifty years in the future should have been allowed a chance to access them, and benefit from them. Now there's simply nothing left to read from this amazing writer.

Ernest Hemingway comes to mind. No, not the actual Hemingway - Woody Allen's comically insightful Hemingway, elegantly portrayed by Corey Stoll. In Midnight In Paris, Stoll's character encounters the equally-earnest Gil Pender, all wide-eyed and star struck upon meeting one of his idols in the flesh. Papa tells him, "I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving or not loving well, which is the same thing."

To erase one's words about something he supposedly loves is a terrible thing, and an inexplicable act of cowardice. If you're a fragrance lover, and you can write, then write about fragrance. If you can write, then write well, and stand behind what you've written so that it can never be misquoted or mistaken, and can always be used as a compass for people who need a guiding voice. If you're a good writer and a great thinker, then your words will continuously shape people's ideas and opinions, and become things which other good writers and thinkers rely upon. They'll form a message that should never be withdrawn.

To any of my readers who are aspiring perfume bloggers - don't do what this guy did. I'll say here what I said on basenotes - What a waste.


Correction: I'd like to thank Mals for mentioning exactly which post raised her ire. In truth it was this post that generated the discussion on her blog, and on mine.














Kenzo Homme (Kenzo)


Christian Mathieu is the nose behind Kenzo's first masculine fragrance, and his oeuvre includes the clove-filled Jacomo de Jacomo, and the fusty chypre Coeur de Parfum. His design sensibilities favor spiced woods and dry mosses, and with Kenzo Homme he continues that trend. It therefore comes as a surprise to find many reviewers calling Kenzo Homme an aquatic. I gave it a generous wearing today, and frankly found nothing aquatic about it at all. If anything, it's a fresh woody chypre in the esteemed tradition of Fahrenheit and Lacoste Original, full of dry green notes, without a hint of "aqua" to be found.

What disturbs me a little about Kenzo Homme is its similarities to Drakkar Noir and Horizon by Guy Laroche. It shares the exact same bitter earthiness, and in some ways surpasses its comparatives. Kenzo's composition is based on a dessicated citric opening of bergamot, eastern European fir, bitter sage, and the driest sandalwood I've ever sniffed. The movement doesn't get any friendlier from there; the heart notes revolve around a pungent pairing of oakmoss and vetiver, with biting hints of juniper berry, lemon zest, and caraway in orbit. To my nose the vetiver is most prominent, and the construction is welded together by a coolness that is as nondescript as it is ubiquitous: calone.

It isn't the summery fruit-laden calone we've all come to know and hate, but more of a crystalline cool breeze wafting through the trees, made extra subtle through its integration with other sour aromatics like fir and sage. I suppose if one were to consider all these notes in unison as analogous to the scent of a freshwater riverbank in Japan, I could, in a roundabout way, understand the aquatic label. But as it stands, my dominant impression is that Kenzo is a woody aromatic chypre with a decidedly "fresh" feel. Just because something smells cool and fresh doesn't mean it's aquatic. I really don't know why it gets this reputation.

Overall, I'm not inclined to like this fragrance. I kinda sorta wish it were a flat-out aquatic, because maybe then I could appreciate it more. I need an aquatic with a bitter freshwater feel, but I don't need a chypre variant of Drakkar Noir disguised as a semi-niche avant-garde masculine. Unique it may be, but Kenzo Homme ain't for me.









4/17/12

Paris (Yves Saint Laurent)


There's so much hubbub in the blogosphere over Penhaligon's famous Hammam Bouquet, but YSL crushed that grape years ago with none other than Paris. Sure, Hammam is significantly less feminine, and pulls powdery roses from its ass with an impressive 19th century flourish, but in the end Paris comes out smelling better - better balanced, better poised, better designed, and just plain better smelling. Look, it's better, okay? Trust me on this.

People talk about how Hammam creates an olfactory representation of repressed Victorian desire, Turkish steam baths full of semi-nude concubines eating grapes from the magistrate's belly button, blah, blah. All the contrived imagery fails to correspond with what good perfume is truly about: association. We can't associate a perfume to things we've never known. It's simply not possible to sniff Hammam Bouquet and honestly say, "this takes me back to that lukewarm Turkish dip I took in Manchester back when Willy IV started remembering his bastard offspring." Unless you're 180 years old (or older), you wouldn't know. You just have to take Penhaligon's word for it.

Paris avoids the memory game by keeping within its own realm, with all associations based on perfume, specifically European perfume. There are no questions about bath soaps and oils, or who the queen is. Paris interprets the evening romance of a modern European square: roses, violets, woods, booze, powder, and the aura of every man and woman's perfume wafting on a breeze across the tables of an outdoor cafe. It's an association we can easily make, as everyone has had a divine moment of fume-overload at one time or another. It happens at dinner, at business meetings, at church. People mingle and gather, and so do their smells. Together, the combined perfumes form a new fragrance, something ephemeral in spirit, but ever-present on the exhale. That's Paris, a truly universal experience in the form of a scent.

Sophia Grojsman is incredibly skilled, and this is some of her best work. Her composition stands alone as one of the few contemporary feminine perfumes to successfully straddle old-world and modern styles. I personally think it would go well on me with a double-vented suit and a new pair of Florsheims. Paris is full of light and sound, and it's a terrific product from Yves Saint Laurent.








4/16/12

One Last Word On Brut . . .


I happened across the above advertisement for Brut. And I noticed that it mentions its price ranging from $7.50 to $100. Pretty broad range. But $100!?! I guess back in the day, this stuff could get pretty pricey. It certainly wasn't a drugstore write-off frag. I didn't realize it was ever that expensive! Okay, that's all I had to say.











Jōvan Woman (Coty)


Jōvan is a fairly prolific brand, one of Coty's workhorse manufacturers, and they've had their fair share of hits and misses. Sex Appeal is arguably their best, and Ginseng NRG is quite possibly their worst. Everything in between varies between being easily wearable on any occasion, to being situational scents with limited functionality and appeal. Jōvan Woman falls into the second group, neatly tucked between Island Gardenia and Black Musk.

One of the many quandaries of air travel (like going commando and then getting strip-searched at customs, or forgetting to pack enough inflatable condoms and dime bags, etc.) is personal fragrance - when flying long distance the question becomes, what works? What's appropriate? Something weak enough to not offend fellow travelers, yet strong enough to make the body smell fresh? A Japanese non-fragrance with lots of airy citrus and musk (I've been doing my research)? No fragrance at all? Maybe just really good soap and a slap-on cologne? The options are endless.

Situationally speaking, Jōvan Woman is a good one for air travel because its chemical components smell very clean, synthetic, and soapy, without being noxious or too in-your-face. It's one of Coty's apologetically half-assed drugstore whatevers. The opening is a rich faux bergamot and kitchen spice explosion, and is perhaps the only part of the fragrance that comes on strong. Maybe apply it in the restroom to limit the damage there. The spice is mostly nutmeg, with a touch of cinnamon, and something analogous to carnation. The carnation introduces green, chypre-esque mid/base stages, and pulls JW's spiciness into a lighter realm. Each green tint incrementally deepens as the fragrance emits strong orange flower and sweet ylang-ylang notes, which settle on a nondescript detergent musk foundation. It's smooth, sweet, clean, and totally synthetic. It's like a fancy soap radiating from your open shirt collar.

Jōvan Woman is another unisex fragrance that would have you think otherwise - really, anyone can wear it. I can't recommend using it as anything other than a quick B.O. blocker, but as far as that goes, and for $18, it's not too bad, not too bad at all.










4/15/12

Brut Classic (Helen of Troy)



I get one day off each week (Sunday), and I used today to seek out members of the Brut family. There's no escaping it - I'm a fragrance nut.

There's a pretty good fragrance shop in Waterbury that sells all sorts of classic men's frags. I went there and snagged a 3 oz. glass bottle of Brut Classic. That's the one in the middle of the picture, with the silver medallion hanging on its hairy chest. Handsome, isn't he?

To its left is Brut 33 - i.e. Brut Splash-On - which was reviewed yesterday. To its right is the 3 oz. plastic bottle version of Brut Cologne, which I was able to find at Walgreens for the surprisingly high price of $9.56. In comparison, Splash-On was only $6.56, and you get 7 ounces of it. Brut Classic was $21.

Still, that's 13 ounces of Brut for a combined total of $37.12. Quite affordable, all things considered.

I'll do a two line review of the plastic bottle version of Brut Cologne: this fragrance opens with a smooth lemon balm/lavender/mint combination, quickly joined by ylang-ylang, jasmine, amber, musk, and a touch of powder. It reads as a significantly higher concentration of Brut Splash-On, with more punch in the top, and a tangible drydown that smells pleasantly green and barbershoppy.

Now, on to Brut Classic. This is the most summery-green barbershop cologne I've ever encountered. I can't remember if I've ever sniffed Brut Classic before today, but I know I've worn the regular "original" cologne in plastic. I'm somewhat neutral on the plastic bottle version, although I lean more toward liking it than not. The Classic version in glass, however, is simply divine juice.

Classic opens with a rush of mint, lemon juice, anise, basil, and lavender. The mint is mentholated and bright green, and its pairing with basil and anise makes for a warm, grassy feeling; the lavender lifts the opening accord over Brut's heavier heart notes. After a minute, sweet ylang-ylang and jasmine appear, very indolic and ripe. Here's where Classic approaches the barbershop feel of its plastic bottle brethren. The floral notes become soft and powdery, and an ambery vanillic drydown, still tinged by the greenness of mint and lemon, imbues itself into skin. The resultant smell is very clean, and quite wonderful.

The biggest difference between Classic and "Original Cologne" is in the treatment of the top notes and the drydown. The heart notes are very similar, too close to really dissect. But in Classic, the herbal minty greenness is much more pronounced, while the lemon and mint stands out more in Original. Also, anise is used more generously in Classic, and lends the scent some depth and balance it might otherwise lack. I also sense a higher fidelity to the floral notes in Classic than in Original. While both fragrances have a decidedly barbershop-like drydown, Classic is more of a fresh green smell, while Original holds more powder, and smells more abstract.


The usage of ylang-ylang and jasmine is genius in Brut. Without these floral notes, the scent would smell like Mennen's Skin Bracer (which by the way isn't really made by Mennen anymore). It would be an abstract mint, lemon, vanilla affair, very fresh and clean. Brut is classified as an ambery fougère, and hugs the outskirts of the category, coming very close to orientalism. Unlike other ambery fougères like Zino and Allure Homme, Brut embraces greener components and has a very naturalistic feel. I'm reminded of the barbershop oriental Royal Copenhagen when I sniff Brut Classic's middle development, as the spicy floral components mirror RC's overall vibe. But I also sense a touch of Kouros' earthy woodiness, particularly in the first ten seconds after the juice leaves the atomizer. Brut Classic is a very well defined scent.

Wise noses have asked lesser snouts why they hate on Brut so much, given its 40+ year commercial run. It seems en vogue to trash this fragrance in the face of newer, fresher offerings. Perhaps other things have surpassed Brut in quality and style, but then again, perhaps not. I'm convinced that there is an extremely small population of guys under the age of 35 who wear Brut. Maybe 1% of guys in that demographic. For those over 35, and even more so among those over 40, Brut enjoys more popularity. I'm guessing a solid 35% of middle-aged cologne-wearing males have at least one bottle of Brut in their bathroom cabinet. This is enough to keep it commercially popular and relatively cheap.


My suppositions about Brut's demographic appeal are musings on the proper time and place for Brut. I think Brut is a great all-season scent that really shines during the spring and summer months. And I think it's something very few young guys are wearing these days. This gives me all the more reason to wear it. There's an attitude that young women crinkle their nose at Brut, but I'm not so sure. Maybe some teenagers and party girls dislike it. But nothing appeals to all women of all ages. Some fragrances find love strictly with preppy college girls, while others appeal to women with retro sensibilities - there may be a smattering of hippies, vegans, artists, and philosophers in that group. There are all kinds of women in the world, and I'm sure a sizable number of them like how Brut smells on a man.

All I know is, they don't keep making this stuff because it smells raunchy and unwearable. Conceptual experiments end up gone and forgotten; Brut Classic is anything but forgettable.














4/14/12

Brut Splash-On (Helen of Troy)



Brut 33 was recently re-released in a new "Splash-On" form, and with the number 33 nowhere to be seen on the packaging. I find this amusing.

It's a good thing because Brut 33 hasn't been available in many years, and I've often wished it was. Regular Brut cologne is nice enough, but a tad . . . pungent. I get a little squeamish with those massive lemon, lavender, and basil top notes. The soft greenness of Brut is lost to the aromachemicals (which are cheap), and it's a Burt Reynolds car chase through the middle notes to the base. If it were distilled down to the smoothest interpretation possible, this cologne would be a soapy masterpiece of subtle masculinity. That's what Brut Splash-On is.


I'm not entirely sure why they opted to rename this scent, but I have my theories. Brut 33 made it a point to advertise its 33% concentration, an awfully technical angle for advertisers. It's hard to successfully submit a "less is more" campaign in a world where more is, very decidedly, more. Creating two concentrations of the cologne with the less telling "Splash-On" label gives Helen of Troy some extra leverage in a relatively lax market. With very few new drugstore colognes out there, Brut now has two versions up against one version of Old Spice, Skin Bracer, Aqua Velva, and Clubman. Well, there's four versions of Clubman, but only one is widely available. You get the point.

Shamu1 recently opined on the importance of Brut, and I must say that I agree completely with his assessment. I'm not an avid fan of the fragrance, but there's no denying Brut's place in the pantheon of classic masculine fragrances. There was a terrific perfume shop here in Connecticut that sold older formulations of the classics, things like Kouros, Zino, Grey Flannel, and it was run by an older, soft-spoken guy who knew his stuff. He related to me that his fragrance of choice was Brut. He said it was the only thing he wore. The man's inventory wasn't your typical Perfume Palace mall crap, and he could have worn anything he wanted (including any one of three genuine Creeds behind the cash register), but he chose Brut. Maybe it's not such a big deal to the average Joe, but it stuck with me. It was quite an endorsement.


If regular Brut is Burt Reynolds, then Brut Splash-On is Al Pacino in the movie Sea of Love. In a now-forgotten but spectacular performance, Pacino played the exhausted and disheveled Frank Keller with an understated elegance not seen from him in any movie since. I can't help but feel that Frank used Brut 33, a minimal fragrance in a maximal world of iron towers and endless subway tunnels. It's perfect for a cop because it's a skin scent, very low-key and hard to detect, yet remotely perceptible to an astute nose, even at a distance if the wind is right. It also affords a man some much-needed sensuousness, should the right (or wrong) lady lean in for a closer sniff. The no-frills, no fancy-pants attitude is utilitarian but focused, and intended for men living in a new and dangerous age. Just like a gun, it's easy to grab a bottle of Brut Splash-On, slather it all over, and lope out the door to catch up with your partner.

I may not be a Frank Keller, and dangerous New York dames may not be knocking on my door at two o'clock in the morning, but I recognize anything that smells fresh, green, and clean, and Brut Splash-On carries an old tradition of crisp cleanness very nicely. It has a place in any man's wardrobe, and is the ultimate "in a pinch" scent. I'm definitely a member of the 33%.










4/11/12

Lucky You for Men (Liz Claiborne)



For us fumeheads, perfume shopping (make that HUNTING) is all about information. We crave information on perfume. Without knowing what we're looking for, it's not only hard to search for it, but also difficult to interpret what we're smelling when we find and sample it. It's more than just a bottle with nice-smelling alcohol in it. It's a creation. It has a nose behind its existence. There's possibly a story attached to the brief. And what is this fragrance part of? Is it something that follows something like it? A first for the perfumer and house? A new construction of some sort, or just following an established trend? So much to know . . .

Then there are folks who simply want to sniff something once, immediately decide if they like it, give very little thought to the holistic experience of actually wearing it, and make a quick buy. For these people, I present Lucky You for Men by Liz Claiborne.

Let me get this out of the way - I'd be lying if I said Lucky You smells bad, in the generic sense, because it doesn't. It smells good, also in a generic sense. It's the sort of stuff you might consider if you're just looking for an inoffensive, "modern-smelling" type of bottled nothing.

Am I damning it with faint praise?

Yes. The truth is, to anyone who is serious about perfume and craves the backstory and cultural context to everything he smells, Lucky You is dull, faceless, and utterly soulless. It begs no comparisons with anything because there's an ocean of anything it can be compared to.

Lucky You is little more than the standard (and redundant) blueprint for classic fresh fougères like Cool Water, Green Irish Tweed, and Aspen. I'd say it resembles Aspen the most, although without any of Aspen's meat to flesh it out. This fragrance is thin, wane, exceedingly pale from start to finish. There's a brief hit of alcohol and nonadienal on top, which replicates wet grass and violet leaf accords in the most expressionless way possible. A remote melon note melds with a half-hearted white musk base. Nice enough if you're fifteen; anyone older who wants to smell of postmodern greenery should skip this scent and either wear - well, you know what, you know what, or Aspen. Lucky You inhabits a challenged scent category, and there's no point in using a half-assed fresh fougère. At least with the other three you get what you pay for, and not less. Lucky You isn't even worth the $13 on its sticker, unless you're fifteen, and wearing it gets you somewhere with the gorgeous strawberry blonde in Mrs. Crumwitz's biology class. If that's the case, then I have but two small words to say: lucky you.







4/10/12

Question: What Should A Man Smell Like?



It occurred to me during the course of writing this blog that many masculine fragrances are utter dreck. I won't single anything out because it's a bad global economy out there, and I don't want to generate bad press for anyone without a fair assessment of why I think their product is unworthy. That's why I review things, and this isn't a review. It's more of a general question to anyone willing to answer: what should a man smell like in today's day and age?

Reading wetshaver forums is usually amusing. So many gentlemen favor - no, make that love things that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing. In truth, some of these fragrances are also reviled within these communities.

One fair-shake assessment (call it an honorable mention) comes with a particular Pinaud aftershave called Lilac Vegetal. Personally, I can't wear the stuff. It offends my nose. It makes destitute any shred of dignity I might've had prior to applying it; its drydown wrenches my shell-shocked soul into a fetal position. The effect is numbing to all of my senses, except my sense of smell.

Well, so much for not generating bad press. Sorry, Pinaud.



It's not that I didn't try to like Lilac Vegetal. I had a three hundred fuckoliter bottle of the stuff, which I dutifully plugged through. I made it about halfway before I buckled and tossed it. By that point it had sapped me of my energies and made it impossible to go on. I recall the sense of relief I felt upon watching "the Veg" swirl down the drain, never to be smelled of again.

Yet I know many guys online who swear by it. One guy religiously so. Many have admiration for it, as it's a genuine Old World fragrance, truly of the 19th century. It's like that scene in High Plains Drifter, when Clint Eastwood goes for a shave and a hot bath, and the barber offers him some Eau de Lilac water because "the ladies love it." It's worth noting that Clint turns the offer down. It's also worth noting that a toughie taunts him by saying "I don't know what smells worse - him, or the shit in the bottle." He's referring to the EdL.

Can't attest to the historical accuracy of Clint Eastwood movies, but this wasn't a ringing endorsement of Eau de Lilac waters on men. The Veg, apparently, isn't a slam dunk with Hollywood writers.




And then there's the scene in The Jerk where Steve Martin receives a half-used bottle of The Veg as a present, which unsurprisingly leads to his express chagrin. Another blow from the peanut gallery.

If barber chair waters got such a rocky start, how did we get to our current notion of what men should smell like? Why isn't Lilac Vegetal a classic? I mean a real, ultra-popular, sought after, bonafide classic? Sure, it smells awful, but still . . .

And what about the notion that men should smell of strong piney herbs and artemisia? Rough leathers and spicy flowers like carnation, and geranium, and rosemary? This more sophisticated ideal of masculinity is exemplified in things like Drakkar Noir, Quorum, Mazzolari Lui. They smell good, unlike The Veg. They're unique, somewhat modern, and fun to wear.

But why are they for guys? Why aren't they for women? Or for both sexes? Sure, the western ideal of the macho, silent, rawhide and sun-chapped man evokes imaginings of herbal dust on rugged leather, tobacco flowers and oily chew. But look around - it's not 1875. The Marlboro men of the wild west are long gone, replaced by billions of metrosexual pseudo-hippie/quasi-yuppie work-from-home Mr. Moms who play Draw Something with their cousins while watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix and listening to The Strokes. Call me crazy, but these dudes are better off wearing Jovan Woman. At least they'd smell clean.

What do you think men should smell like? When you think "man," the smell of "______" follows . . .








4/9/12

Façonnable (Jacques Bogart Group)



In the '90s smelling fresh was everything, and the decade's noses were so devoted to freshness that they conjured fresh fougère/oriental hybrids that in no way resemble Green Irish Tweed, Cool Water, or Acqua di Gio. Façonnable for Men is one such fragrance - it was among the decade's first floral/amber/musk constructions to imbue the air with dense clouds of warm sweetness. This brand of plushness, ambery floral sweetness incarnate, was nice enough for three or four years, but eventually wore out its welcome. At the time I consciously skipped most of these fragrances and went straight for the total culmination of the decade: Allure Homme by Chanel. Looking back and sniffing Façonnable today, I think I may have missed out on a good thing.

A compellingly fresh "fresh" fougere, Façonnable hits skin with a pungent blend of sweet orange zest and floral notes. The scent's sweetness factor blurs itself dramatically in under five minutes, and its jasmine, rose, ambergris, and sandalwood never truly separate and step forward. Its middle phase resembles nutmeg, although it's chemical and not very spicy. I don't know why, but something about Façonnable reminds me of Himalaya, Creed's famous fresh oriental for men. Façonnable's amber is very soft, friendly, and saccharine, much like Himalaya's. But unlike any Creed, Façonnable winds up smelling spare and white-musky within a few hours, with every aromachemical nakedly evident.

This fragrance isn't bad for the budget-conscious guy. It's kinda-sorta dated, very lively and charming, and I'm not one to wax nostalgic about the '90s, but Façonnable brings back some good memories. It's the olfactory expression of an innocent - or perhaps not so innocent kiss on the cheek. Just use it sparingly. The orange blossom and jasmine can be a bit intense.






4/8/12

Green Tea Lavender (Elizabeth Arden)



EA Fragrances has plenty of money machines in its lineup, but none so popular as the Green Tea franchise, which has spawned nine or ten flankers since its introduction in 1999. The company, which is based in New York City, is responsible for some major American classics - Arden Men Sandalwood, Blue Grass, and Sunflowers among them. The range has precious few official masculines, but I've taken the progressive position of considering the Green Tea sprays to be unisex, and occasionally even blatantly masculine. In the case of Green Tea Lavender, they're definitely selling a gentleman's cologne.

I had a brief debate recently with an annoying basenoter on which gender can lay claim to lavender. My point was that lavender has always been a note used in traditional masculine perfumery; her position was that women enjoy lavender just as much as men. She mentioned Jicky, saying something akin to an Irish Spring soap ad, "Manly, yes, but I like it, too!" Evidently men used Jicky before women, and despite its feminine marketing nowadays, men still like it. Whether or not women actually wear and like Jicky seemed beside the point; marketing trumps statistics (kidding).

Lavender is currently more favored by men than women. It is a vital component of traditional fougères, which are generally just for men. Caldey Island Lavender is the brainchild of Caldey Abbey monks, who have an abundance of the purple stuff and see no reason to let it go to waste. They wear the soliflore and have it shipped out to the rest of the world, but you'll find men are its target audience if you peruse wetshaver sites. The inclusion of lavender in feminine perfumes often tends to sway the fragrance more toward the masculine - take Oscar de la Renta's famous feminine, simply titled Oscar. This fragrance is rather mis-marketed in my opinion. Sure, women can wear it well, but the boatloads of sandalwood and lavender comprising its top and heart notes make it something I'm completely comfortable wearing - in fact, I can wear it better.

The same goes for Green Tea Lavender. This fragrance opens with a very aromatic lavender note, very nicely rounded, save for a hint of opaque chemicals in its earliest stage. After ten minutes the synthetic twinge vanishes, leaving a purple mark on the familiar green tea note accompanying it. The remarkable thing about GT Lavender is that it never loses the lavender - the note accompanies the simple structure into the far drydown. Naturally this makes it seem more synthetic than its scent indicates, but it's no problem because it smells quite good. In fact, between this and the original Green Tea, Lavender is an improvement.

It also lends this simple "fresh" fragrance some much-needed structure. GT Lavender feels very loosely like a fougère instead of a sport scent. It also feels a touch more formal, and I could see wearing it to spring functions, like graduation ceremonies (not so with Green Tea). While the other flankers may waffle in character, GT Lavender holds a very confident and mature poise, imbuing the air around its wearer with a clean and dignified attitude. It's nice stuff.

Unfortunately this version is available exclusively at Macy's and other department stores. I have yet to see it at discounters like Marshalls or TJ Maxx. It seems a pity to have to pay $40 for it. But if you're the kind of person who only uses one cologne in the summer, then this is a worthy investment, especially if you like the original Green Tea. Go ahead guys, check it out. It'll fit right in with your fougères.